Should I stay or should I go now?

Sounds like a bad song, doesn't it? Pretty much sums up my day.

There are some weeks that you are windshield, some weeks you are the bug. This is definitely a bug sort of week. :)

It has been a whirlwind. We went to look at houses last week, and wouldn't you know it, I went and fell in love with one. After having both of our parents look at it, they gave it the 50 times over, and then we put in an offer. The offer, of course, is contingent on us selling our house. And we put in a REALLY low offer to get the ball rolling.

That is where the roadblock hits. After speaking with the realtor today, he says he doesn't think our house will get any more than $7000 less than what we paid for it. Hmmmm, that does put us in a bit of a quandry. So, hence the title, should I stay or should I go now?

The last several nights, I prayed that I didn't want to worry about it anymore, and that God can have it all. Now it feels as though he has generously thrust the ball back in our court. When I meant you can have it, I meant it. Really, it's all yours, just light the path.

And yet I feel as though the path has a series of tests. Like test #1, do we put our house on the market, and see what happens? Or is the news from the realtor the answer we need? Do we stop here? And assume that they will say no, and leave it be?

Or is this a discouragement from Satan? Is he putting in another whisper, "See, you aren't good enough to have that bigger house. Nothing ever works out for the Groens."

I just don't know. So today, I have no words of wisdom, no pearls of faith. I am struggling to find my faith path as well.

So God, if you happen to be out blogging tonight, this ones for you......

Nothing Significant

I have been reading a really good, really thought provoking book. It is titled "The Battlefield of the Mind." by Joyce Meyer. Very mind altering in the way that it makes you realize how many things that you think are a) truly not YOUR thoughts; and b) just plain wrong, and not in keeping with a God fearing spirit.

It has been a challenge to get through many of the chapters, in fact, I will have to read them again. Many times, I feel I am just plugging through. Many of the points that Joyce explains is that negative thoughts lead to negative actions. And negative thoughts are generally placed into your brain by Satan. This threw me for a loop.

I was not surprised to learn that Satan messes with people. That was a truth that I had long ago realized. However, I was under some mistaken impression that Satan could not get into our heads, but I am quickly learning I was wrong. For example, were you aware that worry, a simple thought pattern, is actually a sin? It is us, trying to take the place of God, of attempting to prove that we know more than he does.

So, while getting ready for work the other day, I was pondering this more. Why would Satan and all of his minions pick on me? I am nothing special, nothing significant to anyone. Simply put, I am pretty plain. Then it hit me, like a lightning bolt: That is step one. I almost dropped my curling iron.

You see, Satan is the master of baby steps. He rejoices in every small victory. He knows that for every negative thought that you believe, that is one less he will have to create in your mind. He knows that every thought is one more chip at your self worth, your postivie outlook, and even worse, your willingness to step out for the kingdom of God. While we as God's children are waiting for the pillar of lightning to guide us on our path, powers of darkness are at work, showing us where we are already unworthy.

And anyone is vulnerable. Especially those feeling insignificant. They may even be more at risk, already feeling that they provide no value. As far as Satan is concerned, that battle is in the tail end.

I challenge every one to take the baby steps back. God created babies, therefore, he created baby steps. Stop waiting for the pillar, look for the small bursts of light throughout your day.

"You are insignificant." Satan Whispers. Your response? "If I am, why are you even bothering? Obviously I know something."

"You can't do that, you aren't strong enough." Your response? "And who do you think you are? Didn't God crush your head with His heel? Back off."

"You should really worry about........." Your response? "Why? So you don't have to? That's a stupid reason. Besides, I already talked to Jesus about it today."

What? Where are you going buddy? Oh, did I say Jesus? That's right! I forgot you fear the name Jesus. I don't know why I keep name dropping Jesus like that, how rude. Go back where you came from. (Have to be a little smart alec, it is in my nature.)

So hopefully, I have shed some insight into your day, and you can go share it with others. Have a great week!

Of Superheroes and Barking Spiders

Hello. Happy Thursday. I would like to introduce you to Super Jaina. She has many miraculous powers, including the ability to wrap myself around her finger. And she is strikingly confident. Minutes after taking this picture, she announced "I'm Super Jaina! Aren't I cute?" How can you resist that?

What you don't see from looking at this picture is how the rest of the night went. After an hour or so of play, it was time for a bath. Then came the barking spiders.

Now, for those of you who do not know, barking spiders is another term for flatulence, passing gas, tooting? Catching my drift, are ya? Anyway, earlier this week, our very own Super Jaina released a barking spider in the bathtub. I asked her if she "tooted," and she said no. In my infinite wisdom, and truly believing myself to be humorous, I inquired, "Was it a barking spider?" Did I fail to mention that I forgot that I am a mother to a two year old? Did I fail to mention that two-year olds don't really understand adult humor, especially to bodily functions? So, now we have barking spiders in our bathtub.

What I found most intruiging about this turn of events is that two hours ago, I had the most brave, self-assured, sassy little girl. And now I have a quivering toddler, scared of the ferocious barking spiders that are lingering in her tub. However, it always takes a toddler to show adults the most basic principles of life. Don't we all have times that we feel invincible, able to leap tall buildings, beat deadlines, and cook the best pot roast in a single bound (take that, Clark Kent.) And in the next breath, are quivering for fear of the next turn of events.

Fearing the valleys is just another one of opportunities to walk in faith. There will always be times when we don't know what the next step is. And what steps do we take in those times? What do we do to get through the valley of the barking spiders?

For me, I turn to God. I will be the first to admit that I am occasionally lukewarm in the area of showing my faith. It is still there, but I fall into the rest of human nature that it is easy to forget those faith basics when I am wearing my superhero cape. Skinned knee, no problem! Need a new solution at work, I am your girl! Need a laugh, stop on by! But where is the cape when the road seems icy, when the money doesn't quite seem to meet the bills this month, when I think that I am the most worthless person in the world?

So, my new lesson of the week is this. The cape is on loan. God has only loaned me the cape because he feels I am worth it. I can use the cape, but I need to remember where it came from. Additionally, before donning it every day, we need to ask for it, we need to pray for the strength to wear it. New resolution: Always ask for the cape, every morning. Talk to the owner. Use his strength to get through the day. After that, the cape becomes an accessory.

Bring it on, Barking spiders! With my cape in my hand, I'm ready.

Welcome to a new frontier

So......

I am a blogger now, huh? How interesting. I have to admit, when I first heard of "blogs" I had several questions that sounded strangly similar to "What the $$%$?" Journaling online, how is that private? But in keeping with the fact that I do truly type faster than I write (and even think, occasionally), this seems to be the natural evolution.

It always takes me a while to catch up to what is "hip." (See, I still use "hip":)) I am still using a VCR to tape Grey's Anatomy on Thursday night. Seriously.

I can't guarantee where this blog will take me, or the rest of our family, for that matter, but for those of you daring enough to jump into the lukewarmness of NW Iowa, Welcome. I am glad you are here.